I’m not sure that CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is much of a secret, but what it will do is challenge the way you think about things.
The theory behind CBT is based on the fact that our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and behaviour are all connected.
If we think we’ll feel really nervous, you definitely will. If you think this’ll be fine, and I’ll just do it, that’s what will happen.
The great bit about CBT, is that if we know our thoughts are connected to our behaviour, emotions and physical sensations, we can target one of them to impact (change) the others.
If you feel uncomfortable at parties because you think (thought) people won’t talk to you because they don’t like you; so, you try to avoid going (behaviour). Friends realise that you never go so stop inviting you and this makes you feel hurt and low (feelings, emotional and physical).
The problem with this, is that you never give yourself an opportunity to gather evidence that people will talk to you because they do like you.
I can hear you all saying things like “ But what if nobody speaks to me” there are confounding variables and this is a simplistic example, but hopefully, you get the idea. Working one to one with people, gives me the chance to build the best way to define the problem, build a way to stop it happening, and allow for the confounding variables………because we’re all uniquely different.